May 22nd, 2016
- Wake up early
- Put on Harry Potter robe-esque gown
- Put on silly hat
- Try to get tassel to lay correctly
- Move tassel to the other side, messing up previous effort
- Walk across stage trying really hard not to trip
- Receive fancy diploma holder
- Shake hands
- Sit watch lots of other people do the same
- Go get fancy piece of paper and wonder if all that time, effort and money was worth it (It is)
- Hug just about everyone you see
May 23rd, 2016
- Realize that an integral four years of life is actually completed
- Pretend that it’s really not over
- Avoid letting it sink in at all
- Pack up an apartment you spent two years of your life in
- Say goodbye to the people who helped you through every up and down of the past four years
- Unintentionally and unavoidable that it’s really over
- Embrace the void that you and your friends have been discussing all year
May 24th, 2016
- Leave the place that was once unfamiliar, but after 4 years became to feel a lot like home
- Begin the process of hiding the emotional mess you are slowly becoming
I can’t believe that all of that happened only one year ago, 365 days, if we’re being technical 365.25 days, sorry I majored in chemistry and math, I like to get technical.
I’d like to say life has gone just as I always planned, hoped and thought it would. I would like to say that I’m living that dream life, that life I always knew I would. I would like to say I’ve started on the career path that I always planned on. But I can’t. And it sucks, like really sucks.
But it is also probably the best thing that could have happened. God really knows what He is doing some of the time. Okay, all of the time, but especially this time.
This past year has taught me that even if I did nothing else right in four years of college, I picked some of the best people to call friends. In those friends, I found confidants, therapists, cheerleaders, life coaches and sounding boards. I found people who I can always count on as I face my next quarter life crisis, setback and dilemma. I found people who always push me to be better, to try harder and to never give up. I found the people who can always cheer me up when I’m down. I found the people who can always reassure me that my future will be great, not because of what will happen, although I’m sure that will be great, but because they are in it and always show up when it counts and even when it doesn’t, just because they want to be there for me.
And yes, maybe I already kind of knew that about my friends, I mean I selfishly became friends with them for a reason. (THAT’S A JOKE) But every up and down of the past year proved it to me even more. And gave me another reason to be so thankful that people like that find me worthy of friendship.
This past year has also reopened my heart and eyes to a faith I have always treasured. I am one who is always easily complacent in my faith, especially when things are going well or when I feel like I have good control on my life. Neither of those things have been a constant in my life this past year and that’s okay, but it reminded me of the dependence I need to have God. And it has reawakened in me that that dependence is not just for bad times but for the good. God has a perfect plan for my life. He has a will for my life. And at some point during my four years of college, I got so caught up and lost site of it. And I stopped actively discerning God’s plan for my life. I stopped taking all of the ups, downs and decisions in my life to God. And if I’m being honest, it is something I have always struggled with.
But this past year has taught me that when I bring everything to God, He will guide me in the right direction. And it’s still a daily struggle, it probably will continue to be. But life is a struggle, faith is a struggle, but God is bigger than the struggle. His love is bigger than that. His plan for me is bigger than that.
This last year has been a crazy one, like a roller coast with lots of ups, downs, loops and a proclivity for stalling, but it has served a greater purpose. I have learned more about myself this year than I did during four years of college, although I firmly believe that those years prepared me for it. I have rediscovered passions and found new ones. I have gotten experience that has taught me what it is I really want to do with my life and gained some of the skills to get there. But most importantly, I have re-prioritized my life putting God back where He belongs, right at the very center of it. And because of all that, I figured out to be a truly happy person again.
I’d like to think that even if this last year had lead me to the life I always envisioned I would have at this point, I would still have the same outlook. But I know myself better than that.
In time, life will take me where I want to be. In time, God’s plan for my life will come to fruition. And maybe that will be in the next year. And maybe it won’t. But there is joy to be found in the struggle. There is a lesson to be learned every day. There is opportunities to be found in every setback. There is no reason to ever settle. There is every reason to continue to work hard and search for what you want. God has a great plan for me, for all of us.
So maybe, life isn’t exactly how I would have pictured it 365ish days after graduating college, but God’s just getting started with His plan for my life.
lifetalk93 